Colbert Sitting in Hot Water
It’s what seems to be a mess for Stephen Colbert, many twitter users have taken to claiming a show’s joke went too far. A once deleted tweet was the subject of The Colbert Report making a statement against Redskin’s Owner Daniel Snyder. The tweet, which was released by Comedy Central, shows that people don’t want to deal with fixing their own problems. @amandabannapants tweets, “This makes me so mad that I don’t think I should pay my bills… again. #CancelColbert #TeamFollowBack ”
As thousands of American soldiers fight for our freedoms, some fight for the freedom to scream incoherently, “Cancel Colbert!” Some people are defending Colbert saying, “If you don’t know satire, then you are obviously a waste of a human,” Others condemn that Stephen Colbert, “…is a super racist, and I have nothing better to do with my time like pay attention to the my two kids from three different fathers.” The oppositions children are in the middle of their five hour marathon of Sponge Bob Not Playing With My Kids Pants.
Twitter founder, Evan Williams, apologizes for giving people with nothing better to do a platform to complain. “Wow, my bad,” claimed Mr. Williams. Evan hopes that those who have the
time to complain seek counseling for their issues. “Maybe they can save marriage by spending QUALITY time with their significant other,” added a distressed Mr. Williams.
The media is happy with the result. “Finally, we can find a new target that isn’t BP,” said leader of the media, Mr. Moneybags. As he took his monocle off to wipe, he added, “That oil spill could have caused outrage in the wrong direction.” BP leaked 1,638 gallons of oil into Lake Michigan this week and Americans haven’t noticed. It is understandable with news of Gwynyth Paltrow speaking, Johnny Manziel playing football, and some other nonsense that is not important. Twitter users complain that there is no catchy hash tag to use against BP.
The lake is the supply of drinking water to many who live in and around the Chicago area. The lake states, “ARRRGGGHHH, wave, shwoosh, wave,” and was quickly rushed away by lawyers. Lake Michigan plans to sue BP for damages and left while saying, “BP’s mama is so dumb.” To which Grown Up Recess replied, “How fat is she?” The Lake quickly stated, “She’s so dumb, she thinks unicorns are a piece of corn on a unicycle.” Then GUR answered with, “Sick burn!“
Grown Up Recess 