Corporation Builds Actual Glass Ceiling


Desert Lake Plastics in San Antonio, Texas has recently renovated their corporate home office with their new actual glass ceiling to reflect their traditions of allowing only men to move up in their company’s ranks. The company’s CEO Gavin Perkins stated, “Usually my assistant of ten years, Clair Kees, helps me come up and execute all of my great ideas, but this one, I came up with all on my own.” 

Joan Anderson, a 25-year logistics assistant at Desert Lake Plastics said, “I do like the light that comes in. What I don’t like is when they make all us, female employees, wash the glass ceiling every Friday. The men always somehow convince us that we’re way better at cleaning it than they are while they get to go to Dave and Busters.” 

Regional Production Planner, Jim Haverkamp states about the new glass ceiling, “Going on the glass roof is perfect for looking down the ladies’ shirts! Did I just say that? Because I meant to say that. Also we, the men, are only allowed on the roof so the women can literally see that we’re above them. Isn’t that great?” 

“More glass ceilings are planned to be built in the next year all across the US, we plan to increase sales by 85%,” said Howard Hutchinson, owner of Keep ‘Em Down Glass Ceilings, “I mean, at least that’s what my wife told me, she does all the bookkeeping.” 

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