Scenes from a Craigslist Ad: Trying to Find a Younger Guy for My Mature Mom

In this new series, we create dramatic scenes inspired by Craigslist ads, like this one: 

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A mother in her late 60s and her grown son are finishing up their meal at an upscale restaurant for a Mother’s Day celebration.

Linda: This day has been such a treat. You sent me flowers, we went on a stroll through the botanical garden and now we’re eating some of the best pasta I’ve ever had in my life. You really went all out. Thank you, and I can’t tell you how much I needed a day like this.

Marcus: [reaching across the table to take his mother’s hand] I know you’ve been really stressed out, and I wanted to show how special you are to me.

Actually, I have one more surprise.

Linda: Oh my Lord, you are too much! How lucky am I to have such a sweet son!

Marcus: It’s nothing, really. Close your eyes.

Linda gleefully closes her eyes. Marcus lets go of his mother’s hands, gets out of his seat and motions to an attractive young man sitting at the bar to join them, which he does.

Marcus: You can open your eyes now.

Linda opens her eyes and notices the new person sitting at their table.

Linda: [Trying to hide confusion under a mask of excitement] Well, um, hello.

Who are you?

Marcus: Mama, this is Kyle. He’s 28 years old, he’s an accountant who plays guitar on the weekends and he has a ferocious sexual appetite.

Kyle reaches out for Linda’s hand, which he kisses.

Kyle: So nice to meet you, Linda. May I call you Linda or would you prefer Mrs. Masterson?

Linda: [Flattered but still visibly perplexed] Nice to meet you, Kyle. Linda’s fine. How do you boys know each other?

Marcus: Well, we just met recently through a Craigslist ad, an ad I placed for you.

Linda: For me?

Marcus: Yes, I thought you might like to meet someone who can bring some excitement into your life and can also reawaken you sexually.

Linda: [Shocked] But I’m married…to your father!

Marcus: Yeah, but is Dad really taking care of your needs?

Kyle: [Lasciviously] I’d love to take care of your needs.

Linda:I’ve never been more disgusted in my life!

Kyle: I’d love to make you even more disgusted.

Linda: I’m leaving…to go home to your father, my husband of 40 years.

Linda angrily storms out of the restaurant.

Marcus: Maybe I should have gone with the tennis bracelet instead.

Have a Craigslist post you want to submit to Scenes from a Craigslist Ad? Please contact us.

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