Married Man Recounts Day He Lost His Balls To Wife

El Segundo, CA – John Peters, a 32 year old Internet Engineer, shared the exact moment he lost his testicles in his 8 year marriage.

The event happens to all men in their marriages. It’s the point where they keep their opinions to themselves because it makes the relationship smooth. Many scientist call this phenomenon “The De-Ball,” “She got ya Dick!,” and “Damn dude, you in love.”

John claims it was a cold December night and they were heading home from his wife’s Christmas work party. “I had just got done apologizing for not agreeing with her, but I kept getting berated.” The so-called “PHP l0Rd” recalls a long silence followed by, “You got my DICK.” The situation was solved when Mr. Peters gave up his opinions in order to achieve a calm life. “My wife, Jeanine, was super pissed and I was confused,” John added. The middle manager now stays in his corner of the house, where he collects bobble heads of cartoon characters from the 1980s.  “I’m proud to own Donatello from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” he said as we were leaving. “Sorry you guys have to leave, but my wife doesn’t want company past 8,” he added.

As every man’s deballing is a different experience, they all share the same fate. If you find yourself in this situation, please call your father-figure and apologize for not understanding why be was always quiet. Your mother-figure wanted it that way, and it was too late for your father-figure to return from “The De-Ball.”