Jeff Gordon Pranks Unsuspecting Journalist

Jeff Gordon’s prank goes too far.

Jeff Gordon at the Pepsi Max Prank Set

After pranking Travis Okulski, Jeff Gordon was on a prank high. “I could prank anyone!,” the famous race car driver said as he left the Pepsi Max area. And that’s what he did. Jeff, on his high, went straight to town and started looking for his next target.

In comes local journalist, Chad Jennings, walking with a stroller to goto the grocery store. Chad was helping out his wife by taking the newborn baby on a trip. “She needed a break, and I was going to be a good husband. Little did I know Jeff Gordon was going there.” As Chad walked up to the curb of Ron’s Grocery, Jeff Gordon stepped in and took the baby.

Jeff Gordon’s maniacal laugh let everyone know something wasn’t right. “I got your baby,” Jeff repeated over and over again and he ran around the parking lot. Chad was distraught and used his best negotiation techniques to get his baby back. “What are you doing?” Chad asked. “I got your baby and this is a prank!,” retorted Jeff. “It’s not funny!,” screeched Chad. Jeff mustered, “Yes, it is!”

Jeff Gordon holding the baby in the parking lot of Ron’s.

The chase lasted for 2 hours as Jeff Gordon ran around making car noises with the baby in hand. “PUT THE BABY DOWN, IT’S NOT FUNNY,” screamed the group of civilians trying to stop Mr. Gordon but each time he howled, “Yes, it is!” The baby was finally returned after several ‘not’ jokes. “OK, I’ll give you back your baby, not!” was Jeff’s only line for the final  hour. “Oh man, this is a great prank,” chuckled Jeff Gordon. “Thank you to Pepsi MAX for letting me do this,” as the crowd looked around as they didn’t know what would happen next, Jeff left laughing.

Chris Jennings received his baby unscathed. He, on the other hand, was emotionally drained. “That would never happen with my wife watching the baby,” clarified Chris. Now, he spends his time avoiding his wife. “She can’t know this happened,” he said, “if she asks you, please tell her I am high on heroin.”

Our scientist discovered that when on a prank high, these type of incidents are common. “You feel like you can get away with anything,” said our 6th grade scientist. “Like when you draw one boner and you don’t get caught. You want to keep drawing boners!” Prank highs can last for several days.

Officer Redmis claimed he never seen anything like that before. “I’ve never seen anything like that before, ” answered the officer.  NASCAR star Jeff Gordon  was forgiven, you know, because he’s a celebrity.

If you see Jeff Gordon please do not hesitate to call local police. Prank highs can last for weeks.

DHL Pranks UPS

DHL has pulled one over on shipping giant UPS.

Prank box seen in public.

DHL has one upped UPS for a second time this week as packages with fake alias were sent all over the country. Millions of drivers came back with undelivered packages  to I.C. Weener, Seymore Butts, and a brash UPS SUXMYBALLS. One prank box was even said to have a derogatory term.

UPS is in uproar over the shipping prank as they are finding ways to retaliate. One UPS executive, who wished to remain anonymous, claimed, “It’s on.” When asked what would be the next step he replied, “We have a team of scientist working on this. So far, we have a list of options ranging from TPing their corporate office and leaving a big bag of flaming dog doo on their door step.”

Civilians who saw the packages delivered thought it was a clever idea. “I’m going to use DHL more often because they have a sense of humor. That’s what I NEED in my shipping needs.” Others strongly oppose and have taken to rioting the streets. “THIS MAKES ME SO ANGRY, ” screamed the foam filled mouth of Richard Troyer a retired 89 year old  librarian. “I FILLED MY PANTS!” Mr. Troyer then passed out of exhaustion as he was throwing a brick at the Sears window on his TV.

Special Effects of DHL Corporate being TP’d.

With all this shipping commotion, GUR fears that the USPS will be offended it’s not being talked about. We remember the last prank USPS played when they hired a hit man to take out an entire building.