Michael Frederick took to Facebook on Thursday to reveal that he knows all the words to Alanis Morrisette’s Jagged Little Pill. The 30 year old man was quickly met with ridicule, and the only Throw Back Thursday he wanted to participate in was going back to before he put out the status.
His defense? He was a young kid between cultures trying to fit in. Michael had American friends, but it was no surprise those friends were pissed off women who recently ended an unfaithful relationship. “We would play the tape and scream the lyrics,” added Michael. He is no longer friends with these girls as they have moved on from their baggage. [Status Located Below]
“It was a mistake,” said Michael from the top of a building. “I thought it was funny.” Grown Up Recess’s Resident Stand Up Comic, Stan The Funny Man, says that was mistake number one. “When normies go on the instinct of what is funny, they lose their self respect,” he mentioned. He added that the best thing to do for a normal is to only SHARE what is funny. Comedians have gone through the grueling process of being told what’s not funny and come from a different background. Stan The Funny Man warns, “When you’re a normal, your friends laugh at everything because they want you to laugh at their unfunny things. It’s a vicious cycle.”
Mr. Frederick was ready to jump from a building that was two stories high. “I don’t want to die, I just want to post about something else, so that my post about Alanis will disappear from Top Stories,” he yelled at GUR reporters. Michael may find that hard as his #TBT status garnered an impressive 105 likes.
When asked why Michael wouldn’t just delete the status, he looked at us surprised. “With all the updates, I didn’t know how to do it,” lamented Michael. Once he came down from the building, we showed Mr. Frederick the proper steps to delete a status. First, you head to said status and you click the down arrow in the top right. Then you select delete status and a box appears. Next, click that you are sure you would like to delete the status, and prepare to give up your first born. If first borns are not available, please prepare to give up your most prized possession. Facebook says this is necessary so people don’t post unnecessary statuses, and then delete them like nothing happen.
Michael lives a normal life after deleting his Alanis Morrisette status. Though the only thing Mr. Frederick regrets is giving up his Jagged Little Pill tape.