Apple Releases iOS 7.1 To Disappointment

A Logo for iOS 7.1

The Logo for iOS 7.1

The Apple community is relieved that their devices can be upgraded to iOS 7.1. Many claim there is room for improvement. No surprises from Apple as they don’t change the core issues that everyone one suffers through.

The changes include:

-Wasting more battery life if you don’t have the latest hardware.

-Siri now has the ability to laugh at you when your phone shuts off.

-The battery life is an average 10 minutes, compared to the previous 12 minutes.

-When you click any app it drains your battery.

Apple fanboys love the new update. “Before my phone lasted 12 minutes and now I have to plug it in to use it,” said Frank A. Pel. When GUR brought up that one cannot be happy about less battery life, Mr. Pel accused us of being Windows fanboys and we should jump off a bridge. He added, “If you don’t see how the new updates are helpful, then your blinded by fanaticism.”

Tim Cook, Apple CEO, is excited for the new changes. “This update should frustrate enough people to upgrade to the latest device.” Now, Apple waits as the money will come in.

“I was going to spend the 500 dollars on my son’s 8th birthday, but I NEED a phone,” revealed Sandy Abrhams. She upgraded from the Apple 5c. The purchase goes to the importance of not being ridiculed by superficial people. Now, Ms. Abrhams spends her time at the mall ridiculing people with older versions of the iPhone.

Sandy at the mall making fun of people.

Sandy Abhrams at the mall making fun of people.

GUR has found the best way to use your older devices with the iOS 7.1 upgrade. First, put the phone in the off position. Second, keep it there. Lastly, don’t plan on using it.