The Cleveland Cavaliers received the first pick in the NBA Draft for the third time in four years, and this time they’re going to mess it up… on purpose.
This comes as no surprise as the Cavaliers come off a 33-49 season. “We’re ready to mess up, but this time for reals,” said General Manager David Griffin. The organization is sick of embarrassing themselves by mistake, but this time plan to be serious about messing up.
The Cavs plan to draft seventh grader Chinese student Kim Chang from Kyrene Middle School in Tempe, AZ. Kim has been scouted by the Cavs since he was in fifth grade. “He was last picked on the school yard, which made him first pick for us,” added David. Mr. and Mrs. Chang are happy for their son and hope the draft will stop him from picking his nose and eating it.
Dan Gilbert, owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers, is optimistic for the new change in drafting. “If we try to do bad, good will happen. Hopefully, opposite day works out for us,” shouted the owner from a helicopter interview GUR set up. As our helicopters nearly crashed from being too close, GUR was able to make out that Dan Gilbert plans to whine about slang on a Hong Kong Shack or to sign Chang to a long term contract, whichever makes sense.
The NBA draft will be held on June 26th, 2014 and The Cavaliers are ready to mess up… on purpose.