RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL – Preparations for the 2016 Olympics have gone by swimmingly as Rio has decided to throw it all to the fire and let the ashes fall.
John Coates, the Vice President of the International Olympic Committee, has deemed the preparations ‘the worst he’s ever seen,’ and he’s walked into a Taco Bell Bathroom in the middle of a lunch rush.
Brazil’s President, Dilma Rousseff, told the Olympic Committee that they will do whatever they damn well please. “We are excited to return the Games to how they were played originally,” added the President. The country plans to have a dirt lot that is equally leveled. All games will take place at the lot including wrestling, basketball, swimming, etc.
Brazilians everywhere are working hard at not lifting a finger. “We came, we saw, we did a little,” said Foreman Roberto Sanolo. The decision was made when Brazil found out their Olympians cannot be topless like at the Carnival. Roberto claims, “If we cannot be topless, then the Olympics will be.”
The International Olympic Committee is planning to let Rio be a pouting child for a little while longer. The next step would be to give the games to someone else. As the search continues for places better than Rio De Janeiro, the options are limitless. Panama City, FL is a strong contender for back up.
Though worries have emerged, Rio will continue to host the 2016 Olympics.