Moon Still Up There, Facebook Reports

By Shawn Collins

EARTH – After having existed interrupted for the last 4.5 billion years, the moon is “still in the sky doing stuff,” Facebook reported on Monday.

The moon, which has been present in the sky for the entirety of human history and beyond, says it was in the middle of what is known as a “lunar eclipse” Monday evening, and claims it was completely oblivious to the social media firestorm it incited.

“…,” said the moon.

Facebook users from all over the world were amazed at the spectacle. “Check out that thing,” said Facebook-user Valerie Pierre, 24. Pierre then uploaded 57 blurry photos of the moon that she took with her smartphone.

The lunar eclipse did give the moon an unusual reddish hue, called the “Blood Moon”, which is a result of light from the sun refracting off the Earth’s atmosphere. Some are saying that the lunar eclipse, which happens between two and five times every year, is what caused the sudden spike in the Internet traffic.

“Is it always like that? It looks pretty angry,” said Facebook-user Adam Thorpe, 26. Thorpe’s own library of 217 identical, unfocused images of the Blood Moon are now available on Facebook and Instagram.

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg said that this kind of awareness campaign is part of the reason he invented Facebook. “This is what I had in mind when I was first developing [the Facebook],” said Zuckerberg in an interview Tuesday. “People all over the world are connecting in ways that have never been available to them. And they’re choosing to use that connection to flood the internet with blurry pictures of something that pretty much everyone on the planet could see in person.” Zuckerberg said he was impressed by Facebook users’ commitment to spreading awareness of the moon.

“Everyone was sharing their own, personal pictures of the moon, taken with cheap cameras and under hilariously poor lighting conditions,” Zuckerberg said. “And all this in spite of the fact that there are literally millions of high-resolution images of the moon already available for free on the internet. This really is a bold new frontier of human interaction.”

The moon would not comment on whether the coming of the blood moon is the harbinger of the end times, when the seas boil and the dead climb out of the grave, but it said that Facebook users could expect it to appear in the sky again this evening, and all evenings for the immediate future.

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