Chris Christie’s Chin to be Subpoenaed in Fort Lee Lane Closure

Fort Lee, New Joisey (GUR) An unnamed source has stepped forward to Grown Up Recess with new information in regards to Bridge Gate also known as the Fort Lee Bridge closure. If the information is confirmed it could blow the case wide open and make New Jersey as a state look more ridiculous than in past years.

On Sept. 9, 2013 lanes were closed on the George Washington Bridge in New Jersey and reopened on Sept. 13, 2013 causing one of the worst traffic pile ups since the iPhone 5 was released. Initial reports suggested the lane closure was part of a traffic survey being put on with the state of NJ in conjunction with the Port Authority.

Since the closure, several of Chris Christie’s staff have been fired or tendered their resignation. Most notably Bridget Kelley was fired as being the person who gave the order to have the lanes closed. Currently she is working to gain legal immunity for information she possesses that will shed some light on this case.

A made up quote from warehouse employee Steve Marek claims that if Bridget Kelley were to expose Chris Christie’s chin as giving the order for the lane closure, her life would be in danger as well as anything else that might be credible that comes out of her mouth.

Representatives of Chris Christie’s office didn’t respond immediately with a comment. However, we did see this on Christie’s twitter:

“I think it’s absolutely ridiculous these allegations against my chin and I find it really hard to believe that a journalist could concauct such a story. Now leave it at that.” @GoobernerChristie

Sources close to the investigation have renamed the incident from Bridgegate to Chingate. There are links that go pretty far up, and possibly including Jay Leno’s chin.

Rachel Maddow was not quoted as saying, “it may be time to give the chin up.”CCristie
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