North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un has stated a new decree that all men are to wear fake double chins so that they better resemble their supreme leader.
“Our leader’s double chin is a symbol of our nation, if you will,” one source tells Radio Free Asia. “It doesn’t look good on everyone because we all have different face, head and body shapes. Of course it looks best on our leader because he has the extraordinary moobs to match the multiple chins. I’m confident that he’ll mandate fake moobs for all so we can complete the look.”
A North Korean now living in China who goes by the name of “miK” added, “The fake double chins began in 2011 when the Kim Jong-un would ask us [civilians] to bow while holding a chicken breast against our chin to honor him.” According to miK, “Afterward we fed the chicken to his chins as a sign of our loyalty.”