Fred Phelps, founder of the Westboro Baptist Chuch, beacon of empathy, and originator of the phrase “God hates fags,” is now making protest signs in hell.
Phelps, whose message of a homophobic God, spread his word by protesting the funerals of gays, dead soldiers, and the guitarist from Slayer. Phelps also protested the funeral of Segway company owner Jim Heselden but no one complained as the Segway is an invention that makes Richard Simmons look straight by comparison.
In 1942, Phelps realized he was attracted to lady-boys and pursued a life style of being a glory hole attendant at a Stucky’s in West Arkansas. Not having been adequately tipped for his services, Phelps flew into a frenzy of hatred against the very people he had blown.
Fred Phelps actions are so abhorrent, that aethists point to Phelps as proof that God doesn’t exist.
He asked for his remains to be used in one final protest poster. Unfortunately, God does exist and is reincarnating him as a gay sperm with full knowledge of who he used to be.