It’s here! The greatest time of the year, and I, Charles Manson, get to pick the survivors in life’s epic question: Which madness is the greatest madness!?!
As we all know, this time of year is sacred to me. No one knows the depth of madness as much as I, and it is my sole honor to pick what I think will be the last four teams to survive, and a couple of sleepers that will go deep into the tourney.
Let’s start with my favorite: the sleepers. Two teams stand out to go far into the tournament and will fair better than last year. Watering Plants With The Tears of Others screams for a deep run. As if last year didn’t creep you out enough, Watering Plants With The Tears of Others has been upping their game this year by collecting elderly tears. Is there no going too far for them? I think not. Why I don’t like them: they seem to be brining the same as Watering Plants With Your Own Tears and if you can beat one, you can beat the other.
My second favorite sleeper is Persistent Visions of Tom Sellack Without His Mustache. Is there anything madder than picturing a celebrity without his trademark? This team will ride deep into the tournament on merit alone. Why I don’t like them: visions have the weakness of blindness. Look for other teams to drop them early with a quick motion to the eyes.
Picking the final four is a tough business, but I have considered all the possible outcomes. Below are my four favorite teams to make it to the end of March’s Descent Into Madness. Revenge Pooping is the meanest kind of pooping there is. Just when you think you’re safe, BAM! revenge poop. Yes, my alma mater is Revenge Pooping, and I still dabble, but don’t think you are safe when you got one coming. Karma is a turd waiting in your shoes. Their only weakness is heavy showers, and I don’t see any of those in the tournament.
Prediction number two, the tide rides high for the loveliest of all of Not Wearing Sunscreen Because it Makes You Invisible To God. Yes, there is a limit to what madness can bring with God, but without one, you’re powers are endless! It kind of makes me wish I had chosen a different madness of my own. Had I known sunscreen had such power, I would be invincible! Even now, I wear sunscreen to ward off cancer, but now you can ward off god! So, what’s this teams weakness? Easy, sunscreen ain’t cheap, look for these to last until the sweat comes pouring in from deep in the tournament.
Something that never caught my attention until this year was Sexual Jealousy of Clouds. Never once did I think of such a madness that I would have jealousy towards. Does that make me a contender? Hell, I wish. But, If there is one thing I know, is that jealousy can fuel to push further than you have before. Curse you heavens for bringing in the sexiest of all madnesses. Look for Sexual Jealousy of Clouds to take off late in the tournament.
Last but not least, never, ever, never ever underestimate Genuine Enthusiasm For Any Networking Event. I can say anyone with a positive attitude can get things done. How do you think I got my start? If there is one thing I’m afraid of, is the madness of a enthused person. If you would have seen how happy Vincent Bugliosi was in the court room each day he got closer to nailing my ass, you would know hell. I STILL GET CHILLS! If there is one thing this power house needs to watch out for is the introverts of computer networking events. There is no man who can navigate those choppy waters.
Winner: Revenge Pooping.
Well that’s it. My choices are in the bag, as you kids say. Feel free to message me, jail can get lonely, unless you’re mad. MWAHAHAHAHA!
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