Sony Announces Eye Trauma For PS4

"I'm having a PS4 time!"

PS4 Fanboy with Project Morpheus

With Xbox One having a 96% sales jump due to Titanfall, Sony is planning to release a unit in response.

The PS4 has been showing signs of growth, but with Microsoft knocking at the door, Sony plans to release Project Morpheus. The virtual reality system will have access to video games in a way no other video game system has. It plans to be able to take you inside a shooter, play as a person in a shooter, or play a virtual PS4 playing a first person shooter. The secret to Sony’s device is that it ruins your eye sight once you reach your 30s.

Scientist at GUR are still messed up over Ninetendo’s Virtual Boy. “I still can’t read,” said GUR’s lead scientist, Dwayne Newton. “Don’t mind I never learned how, but if I wanted to I can’t now.” Dwayne spends his time getting paid to act like a scientist. He walks around the office sipping coffee in a lab coat quoting ‘Cosmos.’

Many believe Sony is releasing Project Morpheus as a retaliation and not as a thoroughly thought out idea. Project Morpheus will come with headset and headphones. The system will say ‘Xbox Sucks,’ upon power up. Project Morpheus will let you live in the reality that you have a ‘hot’ bod.

Microsoft isn’t scared as it plans to stick with games that are worth the money, and won’t blind their customers. Xbox One developers laughed at the idea of bringing up a VR headset. “Are we stupid,” asked one Xbox One developer. “Don’t answer that, we’re trying to fix controller issues with Titanfall.”

Fans are excited. “I know I’m going to listen to the heck out of some games, ” claimed blind Jimmy Tess. The system will be best if you don’t rely on your eyes, but instead hate yourself.

How one's see themselves in Virtual reality

How PS4 Fanboy Sees Himself in Project Morpheus

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