Scenes from a Craigslist Ad: “Attractive” Female Roommate Wanted

We at Grown Up Recess are starting a new segment called Scenes from a Craigslist Ad, where we create dramatic scenes inspired by Craigslist ads.

[Author’s Note: I found this posting by searching “attractive” in the Rooms & Shares section of Craigslist. I highly suggest trying this sometime if you are looking for a cheap place to live and/or a bleak portrait of humanity. Please click ad below for a larger image/greater insight into the mind of a sex-starved sociopath:]

Snip20140310_4A young man and woman sit at a small dining table in an apartment eating dinner in bored silence.

Mark: [sighs]

Abby: What’s wrong, sweetie?

Mark: Oh, I don’t know.

Abby: No, tell me. What’s wrong?

Mark: [hesitantly] I just feel like this apartment needs…something.

Abby: Like what? I just saw some adorable lamps at IKEA the other day.

Mark: No, it just feels so…empty.

Abby: I told you we should have gone with the bigger couch….

Mark: No, I mean, emotionally.

Abby: [surprised] Oh.

Mark: I think it needs someone else.

Abby: [excitedly] Like a baby?! Oh Mark, you can’t believe how long I’ve been waiting to become a mom…

Mark: [firmly] No. [slightly softer] I meant more like a roommate.

Abby: Or maybe a like another pet?

Mark: Sure…like another pet.

Abby: [excitedly] Jessica from work is looking for homes for her dog’s puppies. They’re so cute, especially this little brown and white male…

Mark: What about a female? Are you into females?

Abby: Yeah, I’m into females.

Mark: Would you say that you’re very into both male and females? Would you say that you’re very bi?

Abby: Um, sure, I guess. Why?

Mark: Oh, no reason.

Have a Craigslist post you want to submit to Scenes from a Craigslist Ad? Please contact us.

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