Petco Sues Itself

Petco’s troubles are getting worse.

With the recent suit brought against Petco, they have decided to sue themselves for selling animals. A spokesman for the pet retail giant states, “Animals are dangerous and it’s our idea for selling them, therefor we are taking action against ourselves.” The suit is set to stand up against a very tough defense of Petco’s lawyers.

Class Action Lawsuit Against Petco by Petco

Petco vs Petco

The news comes as a shock as the company is expected to lose millions. “We’ve built a strong case against ourselves that we hope we can defend,” sternly said by a Petco attorney. He added, “If I were in my shoes, I would be scared.”

Petco’s troubles began when a California family sued over a rat who carried rat fever. From there, the company became a sinking ship. The CEOs of the company are expecting layoffs at the highest level. “We are cleaning out my closet, starting with me, ” said an ex-CEO while being escorted by security he fired.

The buck does not stop there as animals are walking off from their posts at local Petcos around the country. “We’ve had enough,” translated the dog translator. “We want better wages, benefits, and scratches on our belly.” Also, they are mad because they know it’s not really bacon and we should stop kidding ourselves that we are tricking them. A support rally has been set for later this afternoon. All animals are invited to their local Petco to protest themselves. Snacks and drinks will be served.

The lawsuit will hit the court late 2014.

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