Johnson Middle School is in shambles.
The school’s longest running streak of schools in the area that wouldn’t cancel has stopped. The famous middle school that infamously would not cancel class when it was -40 in the winter closes today.
The reason for the closure? Not enough chili beans for the chili day at the cafeteria. Well that’s how it started, because the lunch lady quickly went out to her local Restaurant Depot to buy a giant can of chili beans. While she was gone, the stove she left on caught fire to a nearby rag. The kitchen got fire and so did the cafeteria next door. The fire was said to travel quickly as children on lunch were asked to take their food outside. “I wasn’t going to cancel,” the principal chimed in, “I wasn’t going to lose the record because we were down two buildings.” As the cafeteria was engulfed with flames, children quickly ran through the fire drill procedure of talking about how they are glad they are getting a break from a lame class. “I still wasn’t going to cancel,” reported the principal. As the flames took down the administration office, sixth grade building, and the baseball diamond, classes were still going on the school’s track. As everything went black for school, the principal reported to the students to keep their learning caps on. At which point, Principal Regis received a call from the lunch lady saying they were out of chili beans at Restaurant Depot. His face filled with red as he threw the phone as hard as he could. “SCHOOL IS CANCELLED!” was heard by the veteran hospital 3 miles away.
Johnson Middle School will resume school tomorrow at 8am right after the shipment of chili beans in the morning.