The NFL Scouting Combine adds a controversial skills test.
“We’ve been coming up with this test for the last 20 years,” stated NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. The test comes as a shock for some, but welcomed by people in the NFL’s front office. Players were overheard complaining they had no time to prepare . Goodell added, “this way we can rule out those who wouldn’t succeed in the NFL.”
The test involves asking draftees whether they like option A or option B while connected to a lie detector. GUR has managed to acquire some of the questions. These include: Do you like Hamburgers or Hot Dogs? Would you rather climb Mt. Vagina or Mt. Penis? Would you rather ride in the back seat of the car with two women or two men, and would you be naked? Murder, Kiss, or Kill: A Woman, A Man,and A Man? These questions are giving future NFL players a difficult time.
“Da question. It like, confusing. It go lots of options, me no know,” eloquently stated Johnny Manziel. The NFL loves the test as they get to know more about players. “Thank god we won’t get any of those people, if you know what I mean, ” hinted a very happy GM who wished to remain anonymous. When we asked him what he meant, he whispered, “very clean men,” and then shouted, “LONG LIVE VAGINAS!!” This turned into a chant that caught on with everyone in the room. Even the caterers gave their most convincing, “Long Leave Vahinas.”
The NFL Scouting Combine moved from Indianapolis, IN to Phoenix, AZ for religious reasons. You can catch up on all combine progress on http://www.nfl.com.