Jason Collins makes history.
The first openly gay NBA player took the stage as millions of viewers held on to their passive aggressive comments for 10 seconds. As he played, people in the arena were excited to see what would happen next. With thousands cheering him on, millions of men at home were getting mad because they have nothing else better to do with their life.
Jason Collins was the first openly gay NBA player to make his critics come out of the closet. “You know I was sitting there thinking of all these derogatory terms to call him and then I realized I’m gay!,” claimed Paul Bibby. Paul is the first openly gay hunter in the Wisconsin region. “I knew it was not right to hate when I realized, I’m hating Jason because I hate myself.” Mr. Bibby said he felt freer of his aggression as soon as he admitted to himself his reality.
At the conclusion of the game, men, who recently came out, rioted the streets of their local towns. Many reports show the riots were peaceful as men danced in the streets to classic Cher songs.
Jason Collins finished the game with a giant smile. “I know it might not be a big deal to most, since human rights should applicable to every human being,” he said at the news conference, “but I’m just glad people realized all this hate being spewed is from self hate.” Jason finished the game with a strong 14 points, 3 assists, and 10 stolen hearts.
Also, The Lakers made history as the first team to lose to an openly gay NBA player. After the game, Kobe congratulated Jason Collins and told the media, “We need to get one of those, um, how do you politely say, wins.”