Fayetteville, NC – It what appears to be an open and shut case for authorities is turning into a rampant call for YouTube to shutdown.
Denny Forrester, a fifth grader at Tacoma Elementary, was suppose to stay near his house. He ventured out and lost his way back. Denny found a police officer and cried that he couldn’t find his way home. His father, Sam Forrester, didn’t notice, but Denny was returned by the Fayetteville Police Department. Upon answering the door, Sam scolded his boy for leaving the house. The police were going to arrest Sam for negligence, but instead Sam shouted, “YOUTUBE MADE ME DO IT!” Sam claims he lost his son because he was stuck in a YouTube Rabbit Hole. A Youtube Rabbit Hole is when keep clicking on new videos even though it has nothing to do with your original search. Now the internet is on a massive witch hunt for YouTube to be shut down.
Many have taken to Facebook to voice their opinions to their peers of like minded opinion. “Everyones agree with me, just look at my Facebook likes,” said Ray Clemmings. Out of his 47 friends, he received 46 likes on his ‘Call to Arms’ status. Ray will be deleting his friend, Paul Higgins, whom did not agree. Paul passed away 3 months ago, but that does’t matter to Ray. Mr. Clemmings added, “If you don’t wanna agree with me, don’t be an asshole on my page.” In response to Ray’s status, Sally Owens brought up the fact that bookstores have a bigger Technology section than a Religion section. We have reached out to Barnes & Noble who claim YouTube made them do it.
The ‘Call to Arms’ is coming from people looking to blame anything else but themselves. “It’s happened to all of us,” said Mrs. Samson, who lost his child last year. “If YouTube wasn’t around, I would have payed more attention to my kid. Honest.” Mrs. Samson was not seen crossing any fingers, so GUR knows she was serious.
Politicians of North Carolina are worried civilians will not deal with the real issue: how YouTube needs to be shut down. State litigation is taking place to ban YouTube in schools, churches, and space. State Senator Ron Carlson says, “If I knew how to YouTube’d, it would probably explain why I lost my kids years ago.”
Denny Forrester is glad to be back home with his parents. “I hope one day, my dad admits he doesn’t like to hang out with me,” said Denny. “Luckily, I know how to get home now. I watched some YouTube videos about what to do if you’re lost.” Denny’s father, Sam, is pursuing a civil lawsuit against YouTube. He’s suing for emotional damages in having a child, and for YouTube to send him back in time to before he had a child. Until then, Sam plans to “research” YouTube’s black magic.
Grown Up Recess 